Children suffer when one or both parents are not in the home to raise and parent them.
The Wallerstein Study followed a group of children from divorce from the 1970’s in through the 1990’s interviewing them at 18 months and then at 5, 10, 15, and 25 years after the divorce. Phycologist Judith Wallerstein expected to find that as adults they had bounced back but what she found was that even after 25 years children continued to experience substantial expectations of failure, fear of loss, fear of change and fear of conflict compared with children raised with both parents in the home.
The study found that the younger the children are when divorce happens the more devastating and long lasting the divorce effects actually is both at the time of divorce and even worse in the future.
The most common symptoms all children suffered:
were the loss of a relationship; and
loss of security.
Some other symptoms that the children suffered were:
five times more likely to live in poverty
lower academic grades
males are substantially more likely to be incarcerated for committing . juvenile crimes
girls are more likely to be overweight
both boys and girls have increased incidents of bulling.
If children are of teenage years’ they are much more likely to engage in these activies more than those form a family where both parents are in the home:
engage in sex
The study also found new information. The major impact of divorce does not occur during childhood nor adolescence, as previously thought, but rather rises in adulthood when they move into their own serious relationship. These children, as adults, also have a greater risk of domestic violence and are more likely to experience divorce themselves. These children typically experience increased anxiety which leads them to make bad choices, lack resolution skills so they give up on the relationship when problems arise, and avoid long term relationships altogether.
The Wallerstein study revealed that children of divorce are still coping with the emotions brought on by divorce when they are adults. According to many different therapists “Children never get over divorce and it is their greatest loss in their life.” By Steven Earll.
Children need external and internal validation. Children need a sense of community, sense of belonging, roles models, hands on teaching, coping skills, and internally develop self-respect, discipline, and ultimately self-confidence to reach their potential.
Now that we have the research to know the devastating effects that children experience when being raised by one or no parents in the home it is time to become proactive and to break this cycle.
How do we break the cycle?
We have engineered a proven program over 40 years to break this repeating cycle and reduce the damaging societal and family effects of divorce. We implement clinical retention research to increase our results (Research on Retention) and we use age specific techniques to maximize the speed at which these skills are learned.
We focus on teaching children to develop needed life skills such as coping and communications, provide family adult male and female role models, and offer a sense of community they desperately need.
We have a very unique method of teaching these children to reach new levels and it is through marital arts, counseling, and skill building activities and we are achieving tremendously positive results with our methods.
The benefits of using martial arts (Martial Arts Misconceptions) to teach these transferable life skills is that it is very hands on and interactive (teaching in the moment). The children learn to set mini-milestones, goals (belts) in which they work very hard to accomplish them. The children are treated with respect and respect is expected in return, and the basic program lasts one year. We have many children that have taken for years and we are now teaching children of children that have taken our program.
During this one-year program (Why 1 Year) the children will have participated in 48 homework assignments that cover 12 critical life skills, potential to earn 36 mini-milestones (Belt Stripes), and potential to earn 6 new Belts. (While at the same time mastering the art of being in front of an audience and perform skills at a high level.)
The program has been designed as a comprehensive results driven curriculum that includes Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Social development at each child’s specific age and stage of development. We divide children into age groups such as 3-4 year olds, 5-6 year olds, 7-8 year olds, 9 – 14 years old, teens, and then adults.
Children also have 8 supervised social events throughout the year that allow them fellowship with other children and to develop lifelong friendships. It is very important that these children develop a positive peer group in these formative years.
Our program does teach children how to ‘protect’ themselves and it spills over into all areas of their life. The skills transfer to school and home.
Long Term Care